Kingdom of the Sun(new title and edit)
#26
(06-01-2022, 11:54 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote:  With steaming mug, I search for patio peace,
but chores nag I get on with my day.

The rising sun, sweet in my ear, 
whispers, “stay …                                       shouldn't "stay" be capitalized?

Watch the monarch, orange and black,
flutter by in parley with the wind.

Admire the languid hunter
returned from his nightly prowls.

Sway with the dapper gents in
yellow hats as they dance for me.

Listen for courtesan secrets under verdant eaves
as the choir sings their morning lullabies.

Be intoxicated by perfumed maidens,
resplendent in their star-white bonnets.

Pity the chitinous footmen tending every need,
dutifully abstaining from the pageantry.

Laugh with the blue vested jester scolding
all from his woodsy perch.”

Even as I leave to tend chore’s needs I walk
with a lighter heart, for now I see the kingdom lit

in the sun’s reverie. At day’s end I hope again             reverie implies a lack of attention, which doesn't seem right somehow
to hear the sun sing her parting ochre song.                
Bryn,

Very good, a pleasure to read again.  Packed with spot on imagery.  My two suggestions noted above..

TqB
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Messages In This Thread
RE: My Patio - by Semicircle - 06-01-2022, 02:14 PM
RE: My Patio - by Knot - 06-01-2022, 11:00 PM
RE: My Patio - by brynmawr1 - 06-02-2022, 01:43 AM
RE: My Patio - by TranquillityBase - 06-02-2022, 08:03 AM
RE: My Patio - by brynmawr1 - 06-02-2022, 10:17 AM
RE: Patio Distractions - by Mark A Becker - 06-02-2022, 10:32 AM
RE: Patio Distractions - by brynmawr1 - 06-02-2022, 01:32 PM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by Knot - 06-02-2022, 08:17 PM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by brynmawr1 - 06-03-2022, 03:40 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by Mark A Becker - 06-02-2022, 08:35 PM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by Knot - 06-03-2022, 09:05 PM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by brynmawr1 - 06-04-2022, 05:07 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by Miley - 06-05-2022, 03:43 PM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 2) - by brynmawr1 - 06-06-2022, 05:15 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 3) - by TranquillityBase - 06-06-2022, 08:02 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 3) - by brynmawr1 - 06-06-2022, 11:36 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 3) - by Tiger the Lion - 06-06-2022, 09:52 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 3) - by Knot - 06-06-2022, 11:42 PM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 3) - by brynmawr1 - 06-08-2022, 03:02 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (edit 3) - by Knot - 06-09-2022, 01:32 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (new ending) - by brynmawr1 - 06-24-2022, 04:28 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (new ending) - by busker - 06-24-2022, 05:36 AM
RE: Follow the Sun (new ending) - by brynmawr1 - 06-24-2022, 07:37 AM
RE: Kingdom of the Sun(new title and edit) - by TranquillityBase - 12-11-2022, 11:07 PM



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