08-20-2022, 03:03 PM
(08-17-2022, 10:07 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote: Summer bored, with heat and humidity on vacation,This is a very well done 'slice of life' poem.
a burnt orange Buddhist stands at our path’s bifurcation. .. the saffron robes, the tanned, orange brown skin...and the enigmatic bifurcation
Face leathered with wisdom, he offers gold medallions .... goes well with the 'burnt orange'. Could be marigolds. Works.
his silence doing the talking. We flow like cool water ....a nice contrast to the heat and humidity
following its course to the glow of a seventies sun, ....probably because of the buddhist...but orange...gold....sun is a good progression
Ms. Gaynor proclaiming both she and disco will survive.
We watch children play soccer in a dance of Brownian motion ....my favourite line here
and the multitude diffuse tethered to the companion ... fine and accurate
of their choosing. None but we notice the shadow
of the falling leaf, a simple grey-scale butterfly ....good detail
fervently following its sure path to lie with its maker.
I wasn't expecting 'its maker' at the end, and that spoiled the poem a little bit for me, because while the rest of the poem is all about neutral observation, this last word suddenly introduces an element of belief without the groundwork being laid.
Loved everything else, particularly the parts in bold above - these are original, fine images.

