Pistol Box
#1
Unlocking the mystery
behind the loaded gun, cocked
and aimed, comes from misery
and a magic prop, unlocked.

A wizard's cutthroat nature:
unlocking the mystery 
for entertainment's stature.
Spies who lie for wizardry,

destined to make history,
(outfly a bullet), lessons
unlocking the mystery
of impacts no less destined.

Mysterious and for shocks ~
delivering injury ~
switching the trick pistol box ~
Unlocking the mystery ~
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
Reply
#2
(08-20-2022, 09:32 PM)CRNDLSM Wrote:  Unlocking the mystery
behind the loaded gun, cocked
and aimed, comes from misery
and a magic prop, unlocked.

A wizard's cutthroat nature:
unlocking the mystery 
for entertainment's stature.
Spies who lie for wizardry,

destined to make history,
(outfly a bullet), lessons
unlocking the mystery
of impacts no less destined.

Mysterious and for shocks ~
delivering injury ~
switching the trick pistol box ~
Unlocking the mystery ~

Have the feeling this refers to something in particular - a cursory search turns up Minecraft™ and miniature safes to be placed near one's bed (for example) for instant access to a handgun (which I've considered and, so far, never purchased).  And then there was the Lone Ranger episode where a villain had rigged up his buggy so socketing the whip would fire a concealed revolver and dispatch a road-agent... But to work.

In basic critique, the form is noted and seems to be suitably followed.  There is, indeed, a mystery and "switching the trick pistol box" certainly suggests a dramatic and unexpected twist.  Is there a reference to stage magicians' Cursed Trick of bullet catching which is so dangerous - and fails fatally so often - because the gunpowder-actuated thunderbolt is *real* magic versus the stage variety?

"[O]utfly a bullet" suggests Superman, though all the other indications point to at least a wound.  "Spies" suggests the [in]famous assassination kit consisting of a small submachine gun in a briefcase, opening fire with a clandestine trigger.  Those have been around for a while.

So, really, my only critique is to say that in addition to being well assembled, the poem is certainly mysterious.  Good job?
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
Reply
#3
I'm picturing competitive magicians like in 'the prestige', and one magician sabotaging another by switching the trick gun with a real one. I don't do enough research sometimes before making up my own problems here. Maybe I don't need to change anything
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!