Critique (edit)

[brynmawr1]

The me that is now
was born in the dark 
of an almost dawn.
 
Drifting between the dream
and not, I became awake
and began to see,  
 
for now, only the shadows
of what exits at the in-between,
the seam of the world.
 
I shared this new sight
for others to read,
such a soft under belly
exposed.
 
And I did bleed.
Only to find myself
hungry for my own blood.

The me that is now

was born in the dark 

of an almost dawn.

 

Drifting between the dream

and the not, I became awake

and began to see,  

 

for now, only the shadows

of what exits at the in-between,

the seam of the world.

 

I shared this new sight

for others to read,

to say their words.

 

And I did bleed.

Only to find myself
hungry for my own blood.