05-15-2022, 12:19 PM
(05-11-2022, 06:37 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote: The computer has stolen my hands againAs you know, I am new at this. I like the rhythm and imagery of the rest of the poem, but I have to admit I'm not sure what you are trying to say. Maybe that's the point!
and the clock just smoked my last cigarette,
these are tough times for us all
so we lean forward and practice our spitting: These lines are amazing, metaphors so clear.
boredom is illegal like the river at our backs
and none of us have a knack for squealing.
Though the blind can read our banknotes,
changing the time with wound up whistles, love the alliteration.
it’s all invention, even the ending,
swallowed down into a hollow beginning,
dancing in the shoals on the backs of turtles.
Thanks.

