Good for Nothings
#2
(05-11-2022, 06:37 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  The computer has stolen my hands again
and the clock just smoked my last cigarette,
these are tough times for us all
so we lean forward and practice our spitting:   These lines are amazing, metaphors so clear.
boredom is illegal like the river at our backs
and none of us have a knack for squealing.

Though the blind can read our banknotes,
changing the time with wound up whistles,      love the alliteration.
it’s all invention, even the ending,
swallowed down into a hollow beginning,
dancing in the shoals on the backs of turtles.
As you know, I am new at this.  I like the rhythm and imagery of the rest of the poem, but I have to admit I'm not sure what you are trying to say.  Maybe that's the point!
Thanks.
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Messages In This Thread
Good for Nothings - by TranquillityBase - 05-11-2022, 06:37 AM
RE: Good for Nothings - by brynmawr1 - 05-15-2022, 12:19 PM
RE: Good for Nothings - by TranquillityBase - 05-15-2022, 06:31 PM
RE: Good for Nothings - by brynmawr1 - 05-24-2022, 05:25 AM
RE: Good for Nothings - by Mark A Becker - 05-17-2022, 05:45 AM



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