Baby Groups

[dukealien]

This morning I watched a man
creeping toward middle age
gyrate his hips as he
danced with his 8 month old
to the sound of the itsy bitsy spider
revamped,
sped up like the drum n bass remix
of a chart topping tune.

And after we danced we
clashed tiny symbols
and watched our children mouth
the metal,
throwing wet instruments back into
a large laundry bag
to be cleansed before the
next group of tongues.

For the final showdown she brought
us a series of knitted planets and rockets,
a planetarium of wool to
bounce upon a technicolour parachute.
She apologised as to the shape
of the rockets
“just so you know, I did not knit these.”

And then
we watched mesmerised as
a series of small penises,
floated gracefully
through the stratosphere
of the village church hall.

Without viewing the other critique(s), forgive duplication, please...

The ideas are delightful... wondering if you meant the last stanza to tie back, in its harmless sexuality, to the gyrating oldster in the first.  If not, I'm just looking at it cockeyed.

In S2, I don't think using the homonym "symbols" for "cymbals" adds anything.  The upcoming symbolic stellar globe, parachute, and rockets might tie in, but you sort of cut that off by stating unequivocally that they not only clash (which symbols might) but are made of metal.

My browser's built-in spell-checker flags "mesmerised," apologised," and "technicolour" - a pretty good haul for the Atlantic s-to-z shift.  No problem except that technically (g) "Technicolor™" (sic) is a trademark which would freeze its spelling in the North American mode.  Probably also fine when used generically.  [I'm put in mind of a British copper who moved to Canada, restarted his blog, and was called out by an old fan for writing "center" (sic) - "Gone native already, have you?"]

I'm having trouble with the images in S3.  To me a planetarium is, first, the star projector in the middle and, second, the domed auditorium around it.  I was picturing a sort of bounce-house for the kids, but "wool" defeated me in that.  Is it a big bouncy inflated platform covered with a knit blanket displaying stars and constellations?  I'm stuck.

Also noted:  "wet instruments" and far-fetched feminist-essentialist (mis?)reading of the penises bouncing about meaning the male babies.

The overall concept is good, including the naughty bits.  I have probably missed some clews (g).