02-14-2022, 03:35 PM
(04-09-2020, 04:41 AM)savannah Wrote: I am having trouble with this poem. I had to answer a prompt where a poem had to be written using the words damage, sunlight and barmecidal. But while I had a couple of ideas/lines in mind, they mostly seemed disjointed, lacked flow and the overall tone is just lost. Can someone help please?I like the usage of colors in this poem. I agree that some of the larger words in this poem seem a bit forced.
Sunlight drips over roads
lined with skeletons of trees
bearing damage in their tresses.
The air is laden with requiem and apathy. My favorite line
We walk in somber silence
watching a charcoal sky crawl down
until it kisses a drying earth,
defeat tucked in its crevasses.
I remember sonnets written for the sky
centuries ago
calling her a limpid pool of blue.
Azure, cerulean.
Some words will fade into the ebony smog, forgotten.
If only people had realized sooner
time was barmecidal
and the shadows of their mistakes,
perennial.

