01-25-2022, 09:17 PM
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Hi Mark,
enjoyed it (once I'd found out who Mahomes was) the first verse is very nice, but I think you drop the ball (as it were) in lines 5-6, they don't get you from L4 to L7 and the rhyme (of bones with groans and Mahomes) doesn't really work, for me. Can you work some snippet of the game into those two lines?
Best, Knot
.
Hi Mark,
enjoyed it (once I'd found out who Mahomes was) the first verse is very nice, but I think you drop the ball (as it were) in lines 5-6, they don't get you from L4 to L7 and the rhyme (of bones with groans and Mahomes) doesn't really work, for me. Can you work some snippet of the game into those two lines?
Best, Knot
.