01-22-2022, 11:08 AM
first, thanks for the feedback!
capitalism isnt quite the right ideology, but 'the industrialized colonialist capitalism state didnt really fit either. maybe a vaguer "the system" could work better?
but that seems so vague it misses the point. "society" maybe?
this poem is about the way consumer culture infiltrates even our most personal narratives, telling us that suffering and trauma are a "price" for strength, for meaning, for happiness. its also a jab at the idea that suffering has some greater purpose. its about the lie that this culture tells us, that if we go to work, buy the right things, we'll find happiness and meaning and purpose, but really most of the time we're trading those very things, meaning and purpose, to be cogs in the system. and then we tell ourselves that the suffering we experience, and inflict, consciously or not, is the price to joy or healing. its a capitalist idea, that joy needs to be paid for.
i guess what's really disjointing is the shift, from the narrative of someone, bleeding, looking for meaning, but finding nothing, to a very direct message looking at the narrative of capitalism.
if it feels like a jump in subject, maybe i should try to tie some of the main themes into the begining more obviously.
I did mean pore, but also pour. its probably unnecessary wordplay that dilutes the poem, but i couldnt help myself.
and the title is definitely just a placeholder, a sarcastic play off the theme of the poem that i pulled out of the moment. definitely open to suggestions.
capitalism isnt quite the right ideology, but 'the industrialized colonialist capitalism state didnt really fit either. maybe a vaguer "the system" could work better?
but that seems so vague it misses the point. "society" maybe?
this poem is about the way consumer culture infiltrates even our most personal narratives, telling us that suffering and trauma are a "price" for strength, for meaning, for happiness. its also a jab at the idea that suffering has some greater purpose. its about the lie that this culture tells us, that if we go to work, buy the right things, we'll find happiness and meaning and purpose, but really most of the time we're trading those very things, meaning and purpose, to be cogs in the system. and then we tell ourselves that the suffering we experience, and inflict, consciously or not, is the price to joy or healing. its a capitalist idea, that joy needs to be paid for.
i guess what's really disjointing is the shift, from the narrative of someone, bleeding, looking for meaning, but finding nothing, to a very direct message looking at the narrative of capitalism.
if it feels like a jump in subject, maybe i should try to tie some of the main themes into the begining more obviously.
I did mean pore, but also pour. its probably unnecessary wordplay that dilutes the poem, but i couldnt help myself.
and the title is definitely just a placeholder, a sarcastic play off the theme of the poem that i pulled out of the moment. definitely open to suggestions.