10-14-2021, 06:57 AM
Hi CRNDLSM,
I think you almost nailed it. The only change(s) I might make if this were mine is/are as follows:
When the lights turn back on
electricity courses through these walls, veins
and restarts our hearts from the devastating -(perhaps reanimates our hearts providing respite from the devastating…)
days, nights we stared at the memories
blank and irritated from all the food spoiled
the power of silence.
Yesterday was our anniversary with no where
to refresh the pages of pictures and sequences
of events that shut down the world.
'go ahead'
I said
The joke being you never would,
you did. (I might make this a compound sentence with a semi-colon at the end of S4L1 and add the conjunction “but”)
Now the fridge is cold and empty
and I wish it could just be silent.
I enjoyed reconsidering this. Ideas for you to keep or discard. Best of luck with this.
Best,
Beowulf
I think you almost nailed it. The only change(s) I might make if this were mine is/are as follows:
When the lights turn back on
electricity courses through these walls, veins
and restarts our hearts from the devastating -(perhaps reanimates our hearts providing respite from the devastating…)
days, nights we stared at the memories
blank and irritated from all the food spoiled
the power of silence.
Yesterday was our anniversary with no where
to refresh the pages of pictures and sequences
of events that shut down the world.
'go ahead'
I said
The joke being you never would,
you did. (I might make this a compound sentence with a semi-colon at the end of S4L1 and add the conjunction “but”)
Now the fridge is cold and empty
and I wish it could just be silent.
I enjoyed reconsidering this. Ideas for you to keep or discard. Best of luck with this.
Best,
Beowulf