The Amourette Autopsy(edit 1)

[Brian Roberts]

To avoid redundancy, would "cocoon loom's staid address be more clear? It seems "cocoon" and "womb" are too homogeneous, and I removed the comma before "supine" for more clarity. Thanks Tqb!

Yes, makes the image more clear to me.  But the "butterfly why..." seems to imply you are asking a question, which is why I added "did"

maybe

Oh butterfly why did you shed your wings, 
Regress to the cocoon loom’s staid address? 

Now that I understand you are striving for iambic pentameter, I really have to reset.  As I mentioned, my grasp of metrical rules is...non-existent    For example, how strictly are you required to maintain the pattern.  I see a few lines where the pattern breaks down (I think), but perhaps the occaisonal lapse is permitted or even encouraged? 

Such as 


Regress to the cocoon loom’s staid address? (underlined where I hear a stress)
&
Celestial bliss, we buzzed God's prayer vault.

TqB

The lines you addressed could be read as follows: Re-GRESS to THE co-COON loom's STAID ad-DRESS
ce-LEST-ial BLISS, we BUZZED God's PRAY-er VAULT..........but your point is salient. Thanks for the input...you've helped tremendously!