Songs of Sacrifice

[Knot]

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Hi TqB.

I like the new direction (and the title. Yes, really.) but 'Song' suggests a regularity that's absent here.

Easily fixed?

Just a thought ...

My tears are the rain to come,

my face will be painted blue

my body buried 'neath the seeds

that bind me to the sky.

My naked heart will measure

a dance of bloodstained priests,

of feathered messengers

the sky-borne's satisfaction ......... not keen on 'satisfaction'.

My ghost will ...

................................................not keen on 'punctuation', can't connect it to 'rain-skinned' (and is this rain the same as the 'rain to come'?)

After fire and glad slavery

ashes of muscle and blood

rise in sweetened smoke

to paralyze the gods: ......................can you re-frame this so it comes from N's pov?

Night is a hunger

slit sideways;


Best, Knot

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