06-28-2021, 12:20 PM
(06-28-2021, 07:09 AM)Erthona Wrote: Fine ChinaThis piece reminds me somewhat of the Victorian pornography I once read in an old 60s anthology called The Pearl. Especially, what can I call it except "the bath scene"
Fine China is my Love; do China and Love need capitalization?
fragile, delicate,sensually serviceable. maybe just "fragile, yet sensually serviceable"
Although I worship her
I do not put her on a pedestal.
I keep her locked in a cabinet,
that is where she needs to be. this is where it gets interesting to me, that "where she needs to be"
Letting her out on special occasions I let her out...
so my guest might enjoy her.
They each treat her according; ?
to their personalities and
their own predilections:
some gentle, some rough.
She acquiesces to each demand.
After all have had their use of her
we adjourn to another room,
leaving her naked, alone and soiled.
Later, they depart, but no goodbyes,
or a thank you for her
flawless performance. I don't think "flawless performance" needs to be another line
Afterwards when we are alone this whole section to end of poem is marvelous
I draw her bath of soapy hot water.
Stroking her, then plunging her in
her edge breaking the water’s surface.
Baptized I lift her out reborn again;
her sins washed away, a virgin once more.
I dry her carefully, gently, lovingly,
feeling the raised design on her surface,
like goosebumps on enervated skin.
Then, stacked neat all in its place,
I once again lock the cabinet door
until the next time.
©2005, revised 2021
But it's also an odd bird, because the particular fetish, fine china, seems so dead to me as a fetish object that the poem has an otherworldly quality (in that anyone could lavish this much thought about it). Finally, I kind of wanted some drama, maybe a liine or two about a broken piece?
A few notes and nit-picks above.