After her fall (edit 3)
#2
I really can't tell you anything to change about this poem.  I can tell you how it left me feeling, which is I'd really like to know Helen.

As to the good suggestions that followed my brief one, I guess I'd wonder if Helen is speaking or thinking those lines.  I took it has her speaking.  Possibly incredible that anyone would talk that way in ordinary conversation, but novels hope so every day, so why not?  So I took mocking and shrieking as more joking than serious.
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Messages In This Thread
After her fall (edit 3) - by Leaf - 04-04-2021, 02:32 AM
RE: [untitled] - by TranquillityBase - 04-04-2021, 03:06 AM
RE: [untitled] - by Mark A Becker - 04-04-2021, 07:10 AM
RE: [untitled] - by busker - 04-04-2021, 09:17 AM
RE: [untitled] - by Leaf - 04-05-2021, 04:39 AM
RE: After her fall (edit 1) - by Leaf - 04-06-2021, 05:10 AM
RE: After her fall (edit 1) - by Mark A Becker - 04-06-2021, 07:11 AM
RE: After her fall (edit 2) - by Leaf - 04-07-2021, 03:55 AM
RE: After her fall (edit 2) - by Mark A Becker - 04-07-2021, 09:06 AM
RE: After her fall (edit 3) - by Leaf - 04-08-2021, 05:52 AM



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