03-21-2021, 12:30 AM
Hey Paul-
too late to write seems that the first line might be "too drunk too write"
he scribbles notes for morning perhaps a descriptor for "notes", such as "unintelligible"
and pops the cork back in
The title is a very important component, and if I really want to nit pick I would point out that 4:21am is the morning. But that depends on one's lifestyle. Since I used to have to wake up at 5am every morning for work, 4:21am would've been really, really late for me back in my working days. Not being tied to the clock anymore, it's less relevant.
Also, Paul, I must wonder who "he" is, if not you, the writer, and it lent a bit of confusion to this piece for me. So- who is "he"? I have no clue, and none were offered.
I find short poems among the hardest to critique because I presume that every word is intentional. A bit more clarity would've really helped here.
All that said, Thanks,
Mark
too late to write seems that the first line might be "too drunk too write"
he scribbles notes for morning perhaps a descriptor for "notes", such as "unintelligible"
and pops the cork back in
The title is a very important component, and if I really want to nit pick I would point out that 4:21am is the morning. But that depends on one's lifestyle. Since I used to have to wake up at 5am every morning for work, 4:21am would've been really, really late for me back in my working days. Not being tied to the clock anymore, it's less relevant.
Also, Paul, I must wonder who "he" is, if not you, the writer, and it lent a bit of confusion to this piece for me. So- who is "he"? I have no clue, and none were offered.
I find short poems among the hardest to critique because I presume that every word is intentional. A bit more clarity would've really helped here.
All that said, Thanks,
Mark