11-03-2020, 11:03 PM
MelaniaStarHans,
Forgive me, but I only made it halfway through before I became overwhelmed by the thoughtless formulaic (I'm supposed to be, but I am not I am this) black and white thinking. It's cookie cutter. No poetic troupes are used, there is not even a rudimentary rhythm. Needs more show less talk, unless of course you are working on bad philosophy
As with your other poem it is cleanly written, so high marks for that.
best,
dale
Forgive me, but I only made it halfway through before I became overwhelmed by the thoughtless formulaic (I'm supposed to be, but I am not I am this) black and white thinking. It's cookie cutter. No poetic troupes are used, there is not even a rudimentary rhythm. Needs more show less talk, unless of course you are working on bad philosophy
As with your other poem it is cleanly written, so high marks for that.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.