Pinned

[Knot]

.
Hi Lily,
like the idea and the tone but there are a few too many variations/repeats
of staring in the first four lines for me. Arguably you might consider
cutting those lines entirely and starting with 'You smile' (I don't think that
would cost you, in terms of meaning).

By 'jagged' were you intending 'stuttered' (as a result of a poor connection)?

An alternative title might be the task/subject of the 'zoom class' .


Best, Knot


.