Into The Deep

[Youngpoetdreams]

Death is my carriage but I am it's horse[/align]

I love this line. Here is everything I love about this line. 

It is relentlessly original, I’ve not heard this idea expressed before in this way. At the same time it has a classic sound to it, especially the use of “carriage” or “horse” makes it sound like it could have been a line from an Emily Dickinson poem, except she’s not quite this good. I even googled it because it sounds so authentic, like something new that shouldn’t be new.

Furthermore, I love the way it hits me in the face. It’s an unexpected arrangement both in syntax and concept. It’s surprising and confusing. It makes me do a double take. I want to read it again and consider the implications of the phrase. In this one line you have made an observation about the relationship between people and death that is very tangible.

This line is what a poem should do.

thank you so much for the love, this piece comes from a darker time in my life so it is all very original and real to me. I’m sure many have felt this way before but we all experience it in a different way. I’m really glad you like it

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Death is my carriage but I am it's horse[/align]

I love this line. Here is everything I love about this line. 

It is relentlessly original, I’ve not heard this idea expressed before in this way. At the same time it has a classic sound to it, especially the use of “carriage” or “horse” makes it sound like it could have been a line from an Emily Dickinson poem, except she’s not quite this good. I even googled it because it sounds so authentic, like something new that shouldn’t be new.

Furthermore, I love the way it hits me in the face. It’s an unexpected arrangement both in syntax and concept. It’s surprising and confusing. It makes me do a double take. I want to read it again and consider the implications of the phrase. In this one line you have made an observation about the relationship between people and death that is very tangible.

This line is what a poem should do.

also as a young writer I appreciate any and all feedback, I haven’t seen much love for younger writers really ever in my life so it's cool to see people liking my stuff