07-27-2020, 12:56 PM
VP,
"Maybe we shouldn’t
have changed horses midstream."
This is the only line that seems blatantly forced, The rest I can stomach.
Even Shakespeare did a certain amount of word play, often going for the low hanging fruit of puns. However, there is a fair amount of beating a dead horse (redundancy) which will tend to drive your reader away. So even if one takes it as it appears, a "funny poem," it is still a weak effort.
best,
dale
"Maybe we shouldn’t
have changed horses midstream."
This is the only line that seems blatantly forced, The rest I can stomach.
Even Shakespeare did a certain amount of word play, often going for the low hanging fruit of puns. However, there is a fair amount of beating a dead horse (redundancy) which will tend to drive your reader away. So even if one takes it as it appears, a "funny poem," it is still a weak effort.
best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.