Contentment

[billy]

for me there are too many words. too much filler that weaken the poem. i'll just do an example of what i mean with the verse;

The wind! how it must feel'
stormy tempest clouds
No longer blue sky. conceal.[b] what is [conceal doneing apart for rhyming with feel?
underneath a thunder clouds shroud,
Striking black tormented sod with light. another word for surreal before light, trident light or stabbing light or something along those lines. light surreal feels forced.

Contentment

Oh the wind! how it must feel
When stormy tempest clouds
No longer blue sky conceal.
While underneath thunder clouds shroud,
Striking black tormented sod with light surreal.

I, no longer bound to ground,
Nor vile bog, or dank mire
Confound the wise men’s dumb sound
Which fail to admire my attire,
And scoff my size — for their contempt doth abound.

Alas, let foolish fools shriek
For they will never cease.
Solace is all that I seek,
And in solitude resides peace.
Therefore let boorish boors critique this weak physique.

Surely tonight is the night
I ascend this aplite.
Myself removed far from sight;
Never to trod upon this blight.
On the wings of a flightless bird I take my flight.