Contentment
#4
(01-12-2020, 04:48 PM)Joshua Smith Wrote:  Oh the wind! How it must feel
When stormy tempest clouds 
No longer blue sky conceal.
While underneath thunder clouds shroud,
Striking black tormented sod with light surreal.

I, no longer bound to ground,
Nor vile bog, or dank mire,        The comma after "mire" seems to interrupt the continuation into "confound". I think it would sound smoother without the comma, or with a period instead. 
Confound the wise men’s dumb sound
Which fail to admire my attire,
And scoff my size – for their contempt doth abound.

Alas, let foolish fools shriek
For they will never cease. 
Solace is all that I seek,
And in solitude resides peace. 
Therefore let boorish boors critique this weak physique.

Surely tonight is the night
I ascend towards my goal and attain a new height. (Maybe goal isn't the best word but I think the idea of ascension or ascending would fit really well here!)
Myself removed far from sight;
Never to trod again upon this blight.
On the wings of a flightless bird I take my flight.



I think this poem is very thoughtful and brings forth strong imagery. It seems like a great poem to read aloud and I enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing. 
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Messages In This Thread
Contentment - by Joshua Smith - 01-12-2020, 04:48 PM
RE: Contetment - by PoetSteve134 - 01-14-2020, 02:25 AM
RE: Contetment - by Joshua Smith - 01-14-2020, 02:49 PM
RE: Contentment - by magnoliaflower23 - 02-06-2020, 02:56 PM
RE: Contentment - by Joshua Smith - 02-14-2020, 03:39 AM
RE: Contentment - by billy - 02-15-2020, 02:12 AM
RE: Contentment - by Joshua Smith - 02-15-2020, 04:37 AM
RE: Contentment - by Erthona - 02-17-2020, 03:16 PM
RE: Contentment - by Joshua Smith - 02-21-2020, 07:06 AM
RE: Contentment - by Erthona - 02-26-2020, 02:23 PM
RE: Contentment - by Joshua Smith - 02-28-2020, 09:08 AM
RE: Contentment - by Erthona - 03-01-2020, 04:26 AM
RE: Contentment - by Brian Roberts - 03-07-2020, 11:39 PM
RE: Contentment - by XandrasWeird - 03-15-2020, 04:03 PM



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