02-06-2020, 02:43 PM
Hi, I really loved this poem. The last line, "Let her go barefoot", really struck me because it evokes a sense of freedom and that she no longer has a need for shoes, she is beyond the use of anything to carry her.
A few ideas I had while reading:
I liked how you specified "her" Converse, the sense of personal ownership was powerful, and I would keep that consistent throughout ("her Timberlands, her old pair of sneakers, etc)
I think Line 4 would flow better if it simply said "between drama with friends and crushes on boys"
Overall, I was moved by how this portrays the meaning between everyday objects- what do they mean when we are here, and what will they mean when we are gone? Thank you for sharing.
A few ideas I had while reading:
I liked how you specified "her" Converse, the sense of personal ownership was powerful, and I would keep that consistent throughout ("her Timberlands, her old pair of sneakers, etc)
I think Line 4 would flow better if it simply said "between drama with friends and crushes on boys"
Overall, I was moved by how this portrays the meaning between everyday objects- what do they mean when we are here, and what will they mean when we are gone? Thank you for sharing.