Liberation Study

[Thunderembargo]

Below is a long running piece that I’ve never been quite  satisfied with. At the bottom is an earlier draft. I prefer it’s language, but it doesn’t really get at the meaning. And the latest draft which comes much closer to what I was going for in terms of message, but maybe it feels a bit wordy. 

Liberation Study

on the bus                                  simple location is, indeed, liberating
a la universidad                         direction as well------------spare and simple, yet italicized------ italics are liberating, in a sense
we pass her out back
before the afternoon rains 
a cross of weathered 
board and nails
suspending line 
and laundry
above hard-packed dust

clothespins braced
between her fingers and teeth
struggling against
billowing sheets

arms raised overhead
gathering bedding
singing
a survivor’s song
as the storm approaches

gust, snap
surety of faith
gust, snap
liberty of submission
gust, snap
dignity of the maternal

the wind shifts
through her loose strands of pelo                                   here is the lesson of the poem, something didactic, where the rest is pure elegance of description
and her floral frock
gust, snap
lifts the veil

praising,
surrendering, or
hanging wash

 - - - - - - 

The Cross Out Back

a crucifix:
weathered board, nails
suspends line, laundry
30" above soil

a woman:
clothes pins braced
between fingers, teeth
praising,
surrendering,

or hanging wash

i foogin' looove clothing pins for some odd reason, eager to hear more of this kind of synthesis