01-03-2020, 02:11 PM
Hi all. Hoping you'll give me some guidance on this. Written about a cousin of mine who died in a shitty, shitty accident. That said, spare no criticism in making it better!
There were her Converse sneakers
old, beloved, and loyal
which guided her around halls and classrooms
between AP Calc, drama, English
between friend drama and boys' crushes
and her crushes
She held onto those. They took her everywhere.
There were bulky Timberland boots
Sturdy, strong, and flexible
with which she pulled herself up mountains and around riverbeds
when she realized she had the strength to do it
and get good tired.
There were good old Nordstrom high heels
Suggestive and uplifting
which were slightly more strategic shoes
Helped in the office on important days. Elsewhere on important nights
Best with pantyhose.
There were the old pair of sneakers
She had on when the crash happened.
We brought a dress she loved to the funeral home
But the ask for shoes didn't make sense
It was almost disrespectful.
As if she was going to wake up and need to walk on
Linoleum, dirt, marble.
As if her toes needed protection from pleated coffin silk.
Let her go barefoot.
OP has broken rules 4, 7, and 8 more than once. This thread is now closed. —Quix/admin.
There were her Converse sneakers
old, beloved, and loyal
which guided her around halls and classrooms
between AP Calc, drama, English
between friend drama and boys' crushes
and her crushes
She held onto those. They took her everywhere.
There were bulky Timberland boots
Sturdy, strong, and flexible
with which she pulled herself up mountains and around riverbeds
when she realized she had the strength to do it
and get good tired.
There were good old Nordstrom high heels
Suggestive and uplifting
which were slightly more strategic shoes
Helped in the office on important days. Elsewhere on important nights
Best with pantyhose.
There were the old pair of sneakers
She had on when the crash happened.
We brought a dress she loved to the funeral home
But the ask for shoes didn't make sense
It was almost disrespectful.
As if she was going to wake up and need to walk on
Linoleum, dirt, marble.
As if her toes needed protection from pleated coffin silk.
Let her go barefoot.
OP has broken rules 4, 7, and 8 more than once. This thread is now closed. —Quix/admin.