The Space Between Earth and Sky (Edt #1)

[Knot]

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Hi UB,
nice start, nice ending, but it seems a bit muddled in between.
The sky/eye (space/days) rhyme sets up an expectation that
isn't met; the 'parenthetical' ... - to lift .. but when ... nest - ...
is rather tortuous and its a 'narrow space' a 'band' and something
to 'grab'. That said, 'earth recalls your mind through body' is
excellent.


Just a thought


Between the limits of earth
and a panoptic sky,
is a narrow space
that lasts
for just the twinkling of an eye,
or three days
at most,
if you can hold it. Though


it has been my experience
this is only passed through
during takeoff - to lift you
by the arms and carry you -
and when the earth recalls
your mind through body,
you return to the dirt
with sudden grace.



(the repetition of 'earth' and then 'dirt' is a bit disappointing).



Best, Knot




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