09-09-2019, 09:46 PM
Hi,
I enjoyed it- vivid imagery that engaged me visually.
I like the short first line, it got my attention and made me want to read on.
I liked that you engaged both my visual, and olfactory senses more than once. Even words like 'volume' and 'energy' provoked a sensory response.
I liked that you carried a clear theme and comparison throughout the poem rather than trying to fit too much into it or stray too far from the original topic of the piece.
The ending was impact however I felt like i could have got a little lost in that last 'paragraph'-the poem might have had more impact if it were a little shorter or the ideas were presented in a more compact way?
The use of the life cycle and contrast of life and death left the poem open for many interpretations or meanings for different people.
The beginning and the end were candid, vivid and direct and the content of the middle could have been presented in a more succinct way, I think..
I enjoyed it- vivid imagery that engaged me visually.
I like the short first line, it got my attention and made me want to read on.
I liked that you engaged both my visual, and olfactory senses more than once. Even words like 'volume' and 'energy' provoked a sensory response.
I liked that you carried a clear theme and comparison throughout the poem rather than trying to fit too much into it or stray too far from the original topic of the piece.
The ending was impact however I felt like i could have got a little lost in that last 'paragraph'-the poem might have had more impact if it were a little shorter or the ideas were presented in a more compact way?
The use of the life cycle and contrast of life and death left the poem open for many interpretations or meanings for different people.
The beginning and the end were candid, vivid and direct and the content of the middle could have been presented in a more succinct way, I think..