The Darker The Beast, The Louder The Scream

[Oden Prufrock]

I enjoy the play with perspectives, though it's a rather lazy attempt, mostly because of using "you" and "it" indiscriminately, this type of ambiguity is confusing in a tedious way for the reader unless you set up descriptions for these nameless figures, which you have not.
I feel as though the demonic-self-realization is the vehicle for this "performance" but I'm given nothing but a stream of helpless thoughts.
And it goes no further than that, plus the title doesn't clue me in to any depth after revisiting it during my readings.
That is not necessarily a bad thing, I just thought it'd be more than what it is.

I lack the imagination with what little you've given me to work with, and what you have given was laid out in an obvious manner, which is the anticipation in someone's head that simply leads to more ambiguity. The pauses are meant for "performance" but you're essentially making the reader do all the work here, and I don't read to do work unless it's enticing.

Not only are you making me do the work, but the way you've chosen to build up anticipation systematically in a logical manner, which is boring as hell (no pun intended).

The Darker The Beast, The Louder The Scream

(Performance Poem Script)

The mouthing jaws of the mountain,
its topaz eyes of winter, 
the creaking regal posture
of an ancient hungry… good first stanza, sets the mood, wording is intriguing. 
…
…
…
…
I’ve no divine sword
nor Zeusian arms of judgement,
I am but a puppet
for the world to pull my strings,
make me dance
make me cry,
just please don’t make me…

okay, so we're aware the speaker feels powerless but that's all, it's the main theme here and there is nothing really special about that.
… 
… 
… 
… 
The burn mark itches
with dryness and red,
I try to scratch it off
but it’s branded me a…

"it" has done something to the speaker, you've confirmed there is "it" and "you", but now you've pretty much laid out perfect bread crumbs that I can expect to see later on, you've given your anticipation away already.
… 
… 
… 
…
The bandage releases,
peers the demon’s face,
an ice cold wraith, I like this imagery, works well with the mountain
a gluttonous tyrant I don't see how this is the case
freezes me in my moment of trepidation,
my moment of trepidation, 
my moment of trepidation, nice repetition
my moment of trepidation! 
I am an animal,
nothing more nothing less,
then what am I to this monster,
what am…

this stanza has figured everything out for me
…
…
…
…
Perception is an illusion
or is it real?
What is real and not?
My fear is real.
My fear is…
…
…
…
…
Give me a gun a sword an axe,
anything to fend this attack!
I’ll bow I’ll shit I’ll cry I…
…
…
…
…

this last stanza really doesn't make sense, where is all of this fighting spirit coming from all of the sudden? It builds up randomly and we haven't a clue what's going on.
MURDERER, DEAD, COWARD, NOT REAL,
I AM BRAVE, I WON’T DIE! 
I WON'T LIVE, I WON’T CRY!
I AM WEAK, I AM FLAWED
BUT I AM NOT A NAIL IN THE BOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!! the nail in the board? 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
I AM NOT A NAIL IN THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARD!!!
I AM NOT I AM NOT I AM NOT I AM NOT I AM NOT I AM NOT
A NAIL IN THE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARD!!! 
I cast you back to hell.  I cast "you" back to hell, well then what is this "it" we've been reading all along?

This performance is about courage and the meaning of morality for a weak, vulnerable being. Why stand up to an overwhelming force if you know you’ll get hammered down? For you to understand this poem you need to lose the idea of identity and simply look at the image the poem is painting. The darker the beast, the louder the scream is a double meaning.