08-01-2019, 10:24 AM
edit;
Japan:
not worth tearing down
meticulously built
tenantless apartments
rural villages
of empty houses
souls departed
children unconceived
China:
skyscrapers glare down
eight-lane highways
empty, empty, empty
blocks of shoddy flats
dilapidate near nowhere
dissipating savings
ownership denied
Thanks to all the critics new and old. I've tried to apply their suggestions as best I could, particularly @Knot's elegant rewrite (for stripping out non-essentials). I did not change the title or add verses for other countries, though that remains under consideration. I've also, thanks to @busker, tried to up my poetic craft a bit.
Japan:
not worth tearing down
meticulously built
tenantless apartments
rural villages
of empty houses
souls departed
children unconceived
China:
skyscrapers glare down
eight-lane highways
empty, empty, empty
blocks of shoddy flats
dilapidate near nowhere
dissipating savings
ownership denied
Thanks to all the critics new and old. I've tried to apply their suggestions as best I could, particularly @Knot's elegant rewrite (for stripping out non-essentials). I did not change the title or add verses for other countries, though that remains under consideration. I've also, thanks to @busker, tried to up my poetic craft a bit.
Non-practicing atheist

