Little Sailboat (Edit #1)

[billy]

good edit reads much better now. i think you could still lose an odd word here and there which would tighten it up

Little sailboat moored
in man-made lake, your sail is stowed
and wind seldom blows across this mirror.
Though you once boasted of an epic tour,
you’ve retired to this stagnant body’s pause -
floating in aged circles, recalling
the whispers of the Mediterranean. much better.
Now you're lost
between mute pines,
praying for a breeze to chase
or wave to crest, but no rogue zephyr
will ever carry you back.

Little sailboat, moored
in man-made lake, your sail is stowed
and winds don't ever blow across this mirror.
Though you once boasted of an epic tour,
you’ve retired to this stagnant body’s pause -
floating in aged circles and always begging
for whispering woods of the old Mediterranean.
Now you're lost
between these mute pines,
praying for a breeze to chase
or wave to crest, but no rogue zephyr will
ever carry you back.