05-19-2019, 10:44 PM
Hey all,
Thanks for the feedback. I have submitted this one around a few times and it always got rejected, so I'm happy to get suggestions on it. The ending seems to be the main area that needs work. cloud, I actually had the same thought yesterday, about whether or not the ending might imply murder, which is not my intention at all lol The "silent goodbye" also needs to be changed or reworked. This is in one of those times where it seemed to make so much sense in my head, but it obviously doesn't work in the poem. I will give this piece some thought.
Thanks again everyone,
Richard
Thanks for the feedback. I have submitted this one around a few times and it always got rejected, so I'm happy to get suggestions on it. The ending seems to be the main area that needs work. cloud, I actually had the same thought yesterday, about whether or not the ending might imply murder, which is not my intention at all lol The "silent goodbye" also needs to be changed or reworked. This is in one of those times where it seemed to make so much sense in my head, but it obviously doesn't work in the poem. I will give this piece some thought.
Thanks again everyone,
Richard
Time is the best editor.