11-20-2018, 01:46 AM
(11-19-2018, 09:30 AM)Richard Wrote: He Still Enjoys Christmasdidnt really glance up at the title until i got to the end of the poem. that was a punch.
She used to hum about reindeer
in October, place Santa hats
on helpless jack-o-lanterns,
homemade eggnog in the fridge.
It was when her Christmas pants
were tight enough for him to notice, -personal preference but I would replace the comma with a connector like 'that'
she didn't wake up on Boxing Day alone. -aw
Today, she thinks of Rudolph
having to overdose because of the bullies, -you could cut having to, so just 'overdosing [on what?... snow cocaine...]
the mall Santa hourly.
He left her on New Year's Eve
for someone named Candy Cane. -i think you could cut someone named.
She disliked irony after that. -for me, this line falls a bit flat on its own. maybe 'avoided' instead of disliked
She hadn't learned to hate yet:
positive pregnancy test negated -negated seems odd choice here? but I'm probably missing the point.
by unanswered phone calls
(no appropriate emoji),
his half of the abortion unpaid. -love this ending.
to flourish is to fall, dust before the wind


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