First Edit: Red River of the North

[vagabond]

Red River of the North

What secrets do you keep below?             
You, who devour woman and girls                spelling suggestions: "devours" and "women".
like chocolate covered raisins,    
occasionally vomiting one back up.         "back up" is not necessary. i´m not too fond  of the image alltogether.

Are you satisfied knowing the proper weight      
to sink a person forever?                                          you could leave out "forever" (it´s contradicting the next lines). maybe just write "them" instead of "a person".
Do you feel lovelorned when one slips away,                   
resurfacing, wrapped in a Costco blanket?                    maybe "to resurface elsewhere". i don´t get the significance of the blanket.

You'd probably brag to the oceans if you could:              this could just be: "you brag to the oceans" (because i see no reason why the person adressed could not do that, the oceans are patient and good listeners)
compare your body counts,
wear ribbons for special numbers,                                       
finish your beers, go home, and dare to dream.             maybe leave out "beers" and "going home", it doesn´t fit to "dare to dream".

Someday we might discover your secrets.                          it´s a bit hard to figure out who´s actually adressed here and why the subject now uses 1st person plural ("we")   
The cost measured in dollars on a white page,             i´d not leave out the nouns, e.g. "is" in front of "measured" and "typed" as well as "are" in front of "ashamed".
justice just another waterlogged body.                            
Those who knew you, ashamed for a moment          
that'll pass like any other.                                        
Your apology typed and read by someone else.