03-24-2018, 02:54 AM
(03-24-2018, 02:29 AM)Dwestmoreland Wrote: I really enjoyed your post. I too have lost a child so I know the heart ache that can leave. However, in the spirit of critique, this section hereDo you think it would be better if i took out the word quite?
"You would have been a joy
I know you'd make me proud
But life didn't quite give you the chance
To really come around "
Feels a little forced and it made me read it a couple of times to really get what you were saying because I had lost the rhythm.