ALEX CHANCE MCCONNEL

[ellajam]

Hi and welcome. This is moving because of the subject but the simplicity of the rhymes and lack of imagery makes the poem sound to me more like a sympathy card than a poem that will stick with me. I think if you dig a little deeper into how the narrator feels and find an interesting way to convey it the poem will improve. You also might be interested in reading about meter, I can see the effort but there are bumps. Check out the practice forum for how rhyme and meter can work together. Some notes:

Well this is my hello comma after well.
This is my goodbye
It's hard to say these things
I'll always wonder why Wondering why it's hard to say or why the death happened?
You would have been a joy
I know you'd make me proud "You'd" seems off tense to me.
But life didn't quite give you the chance
To really come around
I love the name your mother gave you
I know shes very sad "Very sad" doesn't seem to suit the immense emotion she must feel.
But the fact she got to know you
It really makes her glad
She didn't see your face
Or know quite who you'd be
Just like the rest of the would world? Make sure to proofread.
Who didn't get to see
But tho they may not know you
There's few who'll never forget
Like me, I promise you
I'll always be your proud Aunt.
I may have never known your gender
Or got to hold you in my arms
But that doesn't mean your not real
That doesn't mean your forever gone
Maybe from this Earth
You'll never get to be
But one day in heaven
Ill be there for you to see

I hope my comments encourage you to think of ways to make the poem more impactful. Hope you enjoy the site.