02-12-2018, 09:54 PM
(02-12-2018, 06:11 PM)just mercedes Wrote: The most difficult pieces to crit are the one's the crit likes. I like this. Although in Intensive, merc, we both know that when a poem has something to say, the "formal" variables like structure, grammar, form, flow (whatever that is), meter etc. diminish in import. I will see what I can do but I cannot do much...nor, I do believe, do you want me to
Madrid in darkness
lit only by flashes from
Luftwaffe bombs.OK. yes. Right. Got it. I might, with temerity, suggest a ponder-pause after "...darkness,"
On a downtown rooftop...definitely a comma here or we get "On a downtown rooftop refugees,....)
refugees, poets, and painters
in fancy-dress
drink champagne, dance and sing
while around them
death rains.Hmmmm. Do I hear the distant call of a cliche through all this sing and thunder?
What madness they share!
Pablo Neruda, César Vallejo,
Octavio Paz, even Siqueiros
the Mexican, in his shiny
cavalry boots.
What joy.....bloody wonderful...what a moment to savour. Yes to this...yes and yes again...though I could never really get the depth in Cesar Vallejo's stuff.
Say no more,
best,
tectak
‘What madness they share. What joy.’ - from 'The Years of Laura Diaz' - Carlos Fuentes
