Heartless nights…edit 1.0001todd,knot again...

[Todd]

This is pleasing to read, Tom. I normally don't stray much into form, but here are some comments for you.

Heartless nights…
 
We talked the night into red- lidded morn;--red-lidded morn is gorgeous. Love the phrasing. It also builds tension making us wonder what kept them up. I like the meter you establish. Seems to be an extra space after your hyphen that needs to be eliminated.  
dry mouthed, dry-eyed , with  nothing left to say.--I like the repetition of dry. Extra space needs to be eliminated after with. Again, your content fits well nothing in the line feels forced. 
Your venom hissed and hung around,--I like the shift to tetrameter. Venom works well with hissed. You can imply the image. I'm not a fan of hung around. I can sort of see what your going for--hanging in the air of sorts. It's the first part that feels slightly there to support the rhyme not the content.
 a vitriolic echoed sound,--vitriolic is a fantastic word. It sounds great here. Vitriolic echoed reads to me like a compound adjective so should probably be hyphenated.
that  damped  the music  of the dawn;--This is lovely phrasing. It pulls us back to the first line and is wonderful content. Extra space after music that needs to be cut.
and drove the song away.
 
Tonight, behind  your closed and dreamless door,--I'm confident that the extra spacing is a copy paste job gone wrong. Extra space after behind needs to be cut. Dreamless door is a nice touch here. The tension and emotion is still in play.
my  fingers creep towards your  body heat.--The meter feels off here, which could simply be my accent when I read "towards". That's the place in the line where it feels off the transition between creep and towards. I read towards as one syllable but I think you may as two. Content and parallel structure wise you may want the creep to also be associated with a noise that identifies the imagery like you did with venom hissed above.
Like cellophane, my crackling heart ,--Extra space after heart that needs to be cut. Lovely line here. You use heart so well in this and the next line that you redeem it. Tough word to use. Cellophane my crackling is awesome--love the phrasing. I like how you've introduced so much sound into the poem. 
arrhythmic riffs that stop and start,--Great phrasing and works well as content.
I hear through sheets- that love me more-
another steady beat.--kind of a reverse aubade. 
 
 
Tectak
2018

I very much enjoyed this, Tom. I hope the comments are helpful.

Best,

Todd