Ere the Err of the Ewe -edited

[yimbus]

Spiraling towards efficiency
The grey sweater vanished,
Yet err had a tendency
To crumble amongst the bushes,
While a predicament flows by;
To lie and weep
Some type of sublime cry,
While I tended my ewe
Ere they disappeared my view,              "ewe" is singular, so wouldn´t it be "it disappeared" ?
Granted to greener pastures
As greenest cannot exist,
Within these boundaries reminisced.

spoiler (can´t be bothered to hide it in a box cos it´s a ridiculously subjective association anyway):
the second line made me remember an instant decades back, when a cow ate my sweater (lilac and, btw, cotton, so no animal was harmed).

more seriously:
your poem is an interesting read, content-wise i think i might grasp L 3/4 and L11/12
the others remain a bit mysterious.
not sure if the use of archaic words instead of more known ones adds to your poem even if they cleverly are similar.

for rhythm i´d suggest for L11/ 12:
"as greenest sadly can´t exist
within these bound´ries reminisced."                             
(...although i am not quite sure if "reminisced" is the right word to describe the boundaries of how green the pastures can get.)

Thanks, good catch on the “ewe” part...I’ll likely change “they” to “it” to “she”. And I do agree an adjective could be added to L11 for better flow/rhythm, I’ll think of one later. I understand your point with some of the more archaic words, it’s probably from what I’ve been reading lately...but yeah I did try to keep them similar and short (ere, err, ewe) and also I usually used them metaphorically more than anything, so their specific meaning wasn’t as important...just their ideas and the combination of them in all to summarize it (the title). I’ll try to post some of what I intended the poem to mean, and hopefully that will clarify why I used reminisced, and other words

sorry about causing any sweater ptsd, hopefully the cow enjoyed it