Ere the Err of the Ewe -edited

[nibbed]

Spiraling towards efficiency
The grey sweater vanished,
Yet err had a tendency
To crumble amongst the bushes,
While a predicament flows by;
To lie and weep
Some type of sublime cry,
While I tended my ewe
Ere they disappeared my view,
Granted to greener pastures
As greenest cannot exist,
Within these boundaries reminisced.



I originally had the title as "we cease the chase" but wasn't entirely happy with that, so I changed it. Still not sure about this one, but would like to know which one you all preferred, or if you liked neither.

I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit jelly your very first poem is so bright and clever.
An all over wonderful package, no matter how many folks have read and ignored,
maybe feared to comment . Could they be jelly, too? I like the title you chose.
I like the poem because in my own mind it takes a harrowing struggle & pokes it
with a tickle stick.

-nibbed


p.s. welcome here