She

[Richard]

Hey chopblock,
Welcome to the site

I agree with ellajam that you picked a tough subject here. Anything relating to love and hurt is always difficult because so much has already been said about it. I'll go into more detail below:

She -I would suggest coming up with a different title. May be something that communicates more hurt. I find that "She" is just too vague to catch the reader's attention.

She was the reason
for my jealous ways.
She was the reason
for my awestruck gaze. -I would recommend rewriting this without the rhyme. I'm of the mind that if you start with a rhyme scheme, you need to be consistent with it throughout the poem.

In the end that all faded
Away.
Far from anything
memorable.

Only separable.

Maybe it was just a first?
Until it became a Second,
Third,
Fourth.

Is it still considered pain
when hurt is everyday? -I like this question. I wonder how the poem would change if you rearranged it so this stanza was the first one? From there, you could spend the rest of the poem trying to answer and deal with this question. Just a thought.

What draws the dagger line
of a staggered mind,
Never again the same
after -Why is "after" so important that it deserves to be its own line? I feel like the word "same" would be a better choice for a one word line.
the oxygen left my brain.

What I could have been.
What I should have been.
Excuses are all I'm left with -May be try connecting the excuses back to the dagger image? Just a thought.
inside this scarred mind She left Me with.

Overall, I think you have a decent start here. I look forward to seeing where you take this piece from here.

Cheers,
Richard