Why We Should be Glad

[Knot]

Hey Nibbed
at the risk of being one straw too many...
(and no, there isn't a hidden camel insult in there)

The title seems to have gone a bit astray with the edit.
PMS has something of an old joke/cliché feel and doesn't serve the piece well.
The dialogue, on the other hand, does work - the tone seems just right
and I'd suggest rewriting all of it in the same style as S2/3
Just a suggestion:

Theology and Baked Goods

"You be glad god isn't a woman"
That's what she said
[as] she sold me angel food cake
Was it a slice?
for four dollars.

You could add a short physical description of her here I think

"I have 4 boys
and they can fight,
third 'four' (change either this or the price)
nearly kill each other,
but the next day
it's like it never happened.

My girls, now,
that's another thing.
They never forgive
and they don't forget."

You could add a short description of the location
where this conversation is taking place;
along the lines of
you always get more
than you bargained for
at the farmer's market
Or have her try to sell you something else.
Or simply end the piece here
'they don't forget' makes a excellent last line

The album/attic/brawl lines are clutter, rather than contribution, I think.

Best, Knot.