Wrath Like Thunder (Revision 3)

[Todd]

I think I'll adopt Lizzie's suggested opening or at least some close resemblance to it.

Where I'm bogging down is near the end. I think the Lizzie's suggested line:

"till no one was left to cry out" is clearer than my "with no one left to cry out"

I'm not a fan of until and till being in so short a poem though.

I could go with:

"and no one was left to cry out"

I could end the previous phrase with a semicolon and then say:

"no one was left to cry out"

That one would change the structure slightly.

I don't know if anyone has any thoughts.

Best,

Todd