Wrath Like Thunder (Revision 3)

[Lizzie]

Revision 2

Blood hissed in a whisper
beneath the soil
damp with accusation
as the mist that once rose

until I 

held the world
under water,
matching murder
drop-for-drop
with no one left 
to cry out.

So, maybe:

Blood, hushed to a whisper,
hissed beneath the soil,
damp with accusation
as the mist that once rose, until I

held the world under water,
matching murder
drop-for-drop
till no one was left
to cry out.



Thought there would be less confusion and bumbling about if I just wrote it how I hear it. 

Love, always love for this piece. The title alone is jealousy provoking. I like that the poem is all one sentence to help the tension build quickly in such a short space.