09-10-2017, 06:43 AM
Nice, but I couldn't help thinking that many of the words could be replaced with better, more artistic words that mean the same thing.
example:
Beams press through the porous shades
Rime diffused, the light pervades
Till warmth can set the mind to wonder
On the victim green that fall will plunder
Then cold might reclaim all the earth
awaiting spring and blossom birth
But hey, just one opinion. Writing is re-writing, no?
example:
Beams press through the porous shades
Rime diffused, the light pervades
Till warmth can set the mind to wonder
On the victim green that fall will plunder
Then cold might reclaim all the earth
awaiting spring and blossom birth
But hey, just one opinion. Writing is re-writing, no?