Denial

[RiverNotch]

I don’t think of you much.
Just moments like this, when sunlight
spreads fingers from behind cloudbanks
to brush the grey wave-crests with gold,
I remember your touch.
 
Sometimes I glimpse your face
in a crowd of strangers. My heart leaps
and I force my way through,
pulse pounding.
It’s never you.
 
Bird chorus, from their nests
at dusk, remind me of your music.
Now I can’t sing, or laugh, or sometimes
even breathe. I don’t remember you often.
Just every day, it seems.

I forgot about this until I didn't, the moment around me slowing down just enough to allow me to properly contemplate. I'm proud to report that I haven't felt stanza two in a long time -- because apparently, my loss gave way to illness. But back to the poem. To focus on a particular, I think this is a little melodramatic, in that even in my current, numbed state I'm left feeling something, but that, for me, is a positive. As for generals, this is technically very good, especially when this ceases to be "technical" and becomes "emotional", but for both departments there's not anything in particular to point out -- even the second stanza feels like a sentiment that's been delivered, whether in this medium or some other, with the same or even greater efficacy. Still, that's nothing negative, and I'm sure I'll be as affected as I am right now when I remember this again -- and maybe, given even more time, even more so.