06-29-2017, 03:37 PM
The imagery is very strong in each phrase. I sense the frustration and feel the lack of sleep. I also feel a disconnect with the title. I don't see or feel a sleepwalker here. I did feel sleep depravity and intrusive elements into the writer's life. Overall a good piece of verse that failed to connect to its stated subject. After a second or third rewriting, I have had to change the title. Often, I write the verses and add the title after I'm satisfied that my sentments have been conveyed.