the nightmall dream v1.5

[CRNDLSM]

the nightmall dream



The monolith
rises. The highway ends,
the parking lot begins. Evenings flocked
by starlings -- scrub it out, scrub it out. I like the build-up but I think 'scrub it out' is weak the second time.

Once, and not a more sustained
adverb, I like this interjection we used to wait. Words, we claimed,
were never enough -- we said sorry but
we couldn't connect, broke our lines in
the wrongest ways, rhymed without purpose, caressed caressed without purpose? Unclear what's caressed because of whats broke

you run from crimes you don't remember. you can't look back. You? We? 
you reach the lot. you dig for keys: the guards, half on foot and half on segways, track segways made me laugh at first, but it's a mall and a dream
like hounds. instead of guns they've tied together sticks, and your bombshell partner's
deserted you: she's covered the way to your car in slicks, in jelly beans. Jelly beans made me laugh too, if it's slick it's slippery? Jelly beans would be squishy? 
the tires skid. as you fly away to heaven, she sucks in the sound
of the supermarket, butchers splitting wings from legs. The rush of the whole last block of words is like waking up especially with the drastic change of scenery and abrupt end.

Anyways I liked it!