05-25-2017, 12:28 PM
(05-25-2017, 08:19 AM)ellajam Wrote: I don't know, do you need the second "as serious"? Love the sentiment, though, and those puppy eyes.
No, I don't -- as far as meaning goes. But the extra time it takes to read it gives that line an added emphasis,
a rhythm that for whose sake, I think, is worth compromising the elegant simplicity of haiku*.
*Besides, this really isn't a haiku, it's a fauxku that I just decided to call a haiku because
I'm a writer and all writers just love to lie. If you doubt this, just have a look at Faulkner,
Brontë, Salinger, Austen, Tolstoy... on and on. Those famous novels that they wrote?
They made them all up!
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions