Fifth Edit: On a Day Like This

[Richard]

Hey Lizzie,
Thanks for the feedback. The word "outside" is one that I tend to needlessly over use, but it's something I'm starting to catch myself with now when I write. You've given me some ideas of where to go next with this piece, and I greatly appreciate that.

Thanks again,
Richard

---

Hey all,
I did some editing with this piece. I was never really happy with what it was, so thanks to Lizzie for getting me thinking about it again. I decided to add some punctuation and play around with the structure, so please let me know if it makes it better or worse.

Cheers,
Richard