Fifth Edit: On a Day Like This

[Lizzie]

Hi Richard. This is quite a nice, compact little mood piece. Ironically, I think it can stand to lose a few more words that aren't necessary.

First Edit:

On a Day Like This -- I think you should tell the reader what the day is like. For instance, on a frosty day, or on a blustery day, etc. If you choose your title carefully, it will convey some mood or sentiment pertinent to the poem.

the houses outside -- Maybe say "houses are footprints in the snow" -- you don't need 'outside' since houses are not inside, by definition... You might put the 'like' back in if you prefer simile to metaphor.
are like footprints in the snow

feeling a draft -- I'd choose a sense to focus on here. Something like I hear the wind or my skin chills from a draft, etc. "Feeling" is just very vague and doesn't give me an image/scene to engage with.
i remember the boots
i’ve lost
following friends
i no longer know -- focusing on the boots/footprints is a perfect frame to work the rest of the poem around, so I like these last 4 lines.

the winter wind -- I'd break on loneliness or chasing, those are more key words than wind
sounds like loneliness chasing my memories of home -- I'd bring back "half-forgotten." I liked how that works with the way that snow drifts and changes, covering things up and changing formation. Things get lost or covered over, kind of like when waves wash up on shore and erase what was on the sand. Just a thought.

Nice job. Hope this helps,

Lizzie