see jane run

[Achebe]

she thinks I love her
I don't ..... nice pause 
but I'm cradling ..... I like how the short stubby lines build suspense 
that belief—
it'll make touching her easier .....eases the tension of the short stubby lines. Explains he above. Leads on to the next strophe. Nice.

she's nine but smells like thirteen—.....rationalisation 
strawberry Lip Smackers
and Love's Baby Soft perfume—
the shit parents gift their budding daughters
to mask the musk of first periods. ...the subtlety of this passage escaped me till someone pointed out that it's not "normal". 

I don't like em young
I don't like anyone

but I can get her 
to perform on command
like she's hypnotized—
I snap my fingers
and smile
as she heels to me .... "heels" is a nice choice of word here 

—such a good girl— ..... nice use of em dashes

I love to watch her
run ...... great sonics. The soft syllables are like a tiger walking quietly up to look at its prey  

Capped the I's and changed the last two lines to Todd's suggestion, 5/11/17

I like the ambiguity behind who the narrator is - stepdad,